2.11 The descent of man
Very soon, as these things are measured, we leave the clouds behind and see, in front of us, the somewhat trashed valley of the Calder, complete with dried up reservoir and  Reaps farm - home of the extreme maggot pong!
We descend triumphantly! In fact, so triumphantly do I descend that I go base over apex in a real hurry and bang my right knee very hard indeed. The throng scarcely notice and bugger off in the direction of the youth hostel at high speed.
"Thanks very much" I call after them. "Navigate yourselves next bloody time".
"Come on" says J "Its only about a mile to the campsite". A small quantity of blood dribbles into my boot.
"Oh well" I sigh "It could be worse"
"Doomed" Mutters Mark, darkly from the rear.
Clive seems to have vanished at some point, but we can see an area of unwholesome swirling mist below us so it looks like he has gone ahead.
We cross the pointless dam, behind which no waters lap darkly, and instead some very puzzled ducks waddle about in the mud. J is certain they are laughing at us. So am I.
We reach the road and set off along it to the right following a sign that says "Campsite" - a promise that ultimately proves accurate.
The campsite is chaos! Tents and people all over. There are the throng, trying to work out how to pitch their respective tents. Clive has set up his "Scooby Doo mobile" tent. Behind it we see a clear spot that the clever so-and-so has camouflaged with his washing. We pitch. We mechanically eat anything that we don't have to prepare. My field of vision has narrowed to a very small area and my head hurts.
I wrap myself in my sleeping bag...AHHHHHHHHH! So warm! I'm just dozing off when sounds of merriment reach my ears from the throng, who have beer and a fire. I wander over and am handed a beer which i chug gently...its warm....and the beer is nice....I finish and say g'night....

CRASHOUT!!!!!! Fade quickly to black.